Naw man it’s cool, i’m just… We’re just awesome!!
So, while i was packing your moms fudge the other night, i got to thinking.
Why do so many people confuse what’s true, with what’s deep. (Now given that most of the people I’m talking about are mentally retarded hippies and hipsters). I have to say, it is an easy mistake to make when your head is firmly squeezed between the ass cheeks of a mule. However, most of you should know better!
Me saying “I’m gonna eat my chocolate chip cookie at home” while at subway, does not earn a “That’s fucking deep, man!” you hippie prick!
Saying something like “If your V-neck was any deeper, it would be teaching transcendental literature and post-Impressionism at UC Berkeley” like ooJLEoo did, would make you deserve a little applause for the depth in the given statement. Know the difference!
And when it comes to giving my friends advise, I generally tell them the truth, and it’s not always deep, but they say it is, Anne Frankly you guys… it pisses me off! I’m not that deep, I’m truthful. SO SCREW OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!
However, when it comes to your mom, i am both truthful, and deep…
Balls deep that is.
Questions I’ve been asked a lot…
“Why would you do that?”
“Why would you put you’re hand in a blender?”
“Why do you love my mom more than me?”
“Why is it, that when i eat jelly, the moon looks at me like I just ate mushrooms?”
It seems everyone wants to know “why?”. Well, I’m here to tell you…
Back in 1973, when cars could fly, there was a man named Jon. And Jon liked pie. I mean, he REALLY liked pie. But in those times pie was banned because the Evil Retro-Nazi regime that ruled the lands didn’t want people to enjoy the wonderful pastry that is “pie”. They only wanted people to eat humus. Jon didn’t like humus.
Now… Being the manly man that he is, Jon got HIV at the early age of 7. “How?” you may ask…
The answer lies in the question.
Your mothers ass.